Counting the Cost
Later in the week we had our first large group, Shabe, where we met even more of the students and were formally introduced as the new iEdgers. There, I reconnected with students who I had met during my previous summers in Japan, and many were curious why I had returned as an iEdger. Many remembered that I was studying to be a doctor and asked why I would pursue time here instead. I answered honestly that I wanted to pursue the students the same way I was pursued while in undergraduate -- having someone who was experienced and continued to learn alongside me.
The discussion probed a thought that had been lurking at the back of my mind for the past week or so: Despite feeling the most joy and peace I had in my entire life, why was there still this creeping sadness?
The students’ question helped me draw out and face the sadness that had been seeping into my life during the first week or so. Beneath the aforementioned joy and peace that could be found coming to Tokyo, I found myself mourning. I mourned not being where my parents would have me, I mourned not being in the presence of all those I had invested in for the last six plus years, and I mourned the sadness I had introduced into all those peoples’ lives by coming here to serve. This rut lasted until our last large group this past Friday night. There, the discussion centered around both a TED talk from Tsutomu Uematsu, and Mark 11:22-24.
Hope Invites
Tsutomu’s message focused on his life journey and how God had placed him in the right time and place to realize his dream and figure out how to help others do the same. He sought to get rid of the phrase どーせむり(It is impossible) and instead integrate the phrase だつたらこうしてみたら (Why don’t you try this instead). His guiding dream was to show people how to explore what others would dismiss as impossible, in order to truly create something lasting. To not be afraid of failing and be able to respond with ただいま成長中 (I am growing right now).
The talk made me realize that I had been served well in America, and my feelings of sadness were only healthy. I mourned all those I had invested in because of the way the relationships had affected both parties; God had placed me at the right time and place for those people and had now called me away. I began learning to leave those investments in His care, trusting that He used me to create something that would flourish without me. Leaving those investments unresolved seemed impossible for me and it became clear that God was asking me to try His way instead.
As we broke into discussion groups at our last Shabe, a second year asked me what my dream/purpose was. I repeated what I had previously answered the fourth years, with my new understanding forming a solid foundation in my heart, and she lit up. She stated that she did not know her purpose and asked me if I could teach her what I knew.
For many Japanese, the idea of believing in Christ or believing that a mountain can be moved is どーせむり (it is impossible). However, for these students in B.E.S.T. I am excited to ask them to だつたらこうしてみたら (Why don’t you try this instead), to ask them why not walk with Christ as I have and cultivate something that would last forever. To be able to say, ただいま成長中, that I am growing right now.
Sincerely Yours,
Dean Madera
It has now been almost three weeks since arriving in Tokyo. For the most part it has been a steady acclimation to the society; the last two summers I served here have helped incredibly with dealing with the initial social and cultural hurdles. The Tokyo B.E.S.T. staff and students have also been incredibly intentional with getting our team situated and integrated. Our first three days were spent in their care. They explained the vision for their ministry, and how staff typically teach, lead, and even learn within the club. On the last night of orientation, some Japanese students came and spoke about how the Gospel has affected the club. A fourth year, who is still in the process of getting to know Jesus, explained how the club had impacted his life and shared comfortably about the club’s Bible discussions; he did so without the usual awkwardness that follows discussions about religion in Japan. This fourth year was a freshmen the first time I had come to Tokyo, and it was incredibly encouraging to see how God had impacted his heart through his years in Tokyo B.E.S.T.
Dear Friends,
